Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
CALGARY, Alberta – In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at PetroGlobal Scientific Inc. have created and patented a process that reliably converts formation water...
View ArticleHollimorton invents chemical treatment that creates new oil in-situ
HOUSTON, Texas – Hollimorton’s reasearch division announced today that it has created a new chemical stimulation treatment that significantly accelerates the diagenesis process so that oil can be...
View ArticleNew PNG discovery in BC’s interior
KAMLOOPS, British Columbia – Musky Beaver Holdings recently discovered a new oil play in the Richard Valley region of central BC. A new type of exploration has begun after a box of old mining maps was...
View ArticleEng-Man and Geo-Boy, is TC Comics Desperate?
LOS ANGELES, CA – The last few years have been challenging for the entertainment industry, to say the least. The market for new ideas is shrinking, and combined with the growing number of illiterate...
View ArticleCyclic Oil Flood sets the stage for a new era of market dominance
EDMONTON, Alberta – Phil Ruckdoogle, a business analyst with Pinderswindle Oil & Gas LLC, has created a new, systematic, and market-focused sales technique that may revolutionize the way P&NG...
View ArticleAlberta floodwater discovery leads to Surface Flood EOR scheme in aging pools
CALGARY, Alberta – The flooding in Alberta this June was a disaster that has redefined the face of our province and its citizens, and reinforced a steadfast spirit of helping that is ingrained in this...
View ArticleRedford amends flood relief requirements, all houses now required to be jacked
Calgary, Alberta – Alison Redford has been under fire for the timing and details around her flood relief efforts. On the heels of that fiasco, she has exemplified what is wrong with the Conservative...
View ArticleToken Resources invents THC enhanced MEOR scheme
NELSON, BC – In a remarkable improvement to tertiary oil recovery methods, Token Resources, headquartered in Nelson, British Columbia, has invented and trademarked a new form of Microbial Enhanced Oil...
View ArticleOil price headed to $200 per barrel as lunchmeat crisis hits southern Arkansas
RODEO, Arkansas – Market experts have yet to explain yet another surge in the price of crude oil in North America. A recent spike to almost $127 per barrel was seen yesterday at close of the commodity...
View ArticleLandsale deal falls apart after fist fight
CALGARY, Alberta – A disturbance in the Plus-15 walkway has landed 2 senior Landmen in jail and quite possibly out of work. A discussion at a local coffee shop turned into what was described by...
View ArticleWe don’t need a pipeline, OIL FLOATS!
Calgary, Alberta – Trans American Global Pipeline LLC has rocked the world with the announcement it is going to abandon all pipelines by 2020. Shut in, cleaned out, removed and reclaimed. Or so the...
View ArticleOPEC, In No Mood For Fight, agrees USA is definitely ‘something’
FRANKFURT, Germany – A moment of clarity stalled the crowd at the 2013 Oil & Gas Production PowWow in Frankfurt yesterday. In what was bound to be a 4-day screaming match between vocal OPEC...
View ArticleNew super union hits Alberta’s private sector oil and gas HQs
CALGARY, Alberta – News of the new Super-Union, Unifor, has been dredging up mixed feelings across Canada for the last few weeks. An all encompassing super power is taking aim at lesser unions and...
View ArticleGeneticist launches canola crop that may topple Saskatchewan oil exports
SASKATOON, Saskatchewan – A recently dismissed genetic crop scientist with degrees in genetics, agricultural botany, computer engineering, and a recent MBA, has made a agricultural breakthrough that is...
View ArticleLokjaws’ Sooperstores to sell canned Alberta crude to hobby refiners in rural...
TORONTO, Ontario – Sooperstore grocery stores and other associated Lokjaws companies are set to launch a product unheard of in the history of grocery vending. A product termed Canned Crude is set to...
View ArticleEngineer devastated to learn daughter, 7, is interested in rocks
CALGARY, Alberta – The oil industry is full of its nuances and tribulation. There are quibbles over money, detail, procedure, and personality. The PNG industry can be very stressful indeed, and...
View ArticleMale prostitution on the rise in North Dakota
WILLISTON, North Dakota -The Bakken was one of the biggest plays seen in recent years. It drew staff and contrators from all over the country and, indeed, from many other countries. There was so much...
View ArticleSafety inspections required every 2 days on BC drilling rigs
VANCOUVER, British Columbia – Christy Clark has come up with yet another way for British Columbia to attempt extortion on the oil and gas industry. A newly proposed, and hopefully short-lived, safety...
View ArticleEstrogen levels getting far too high in the oil industry
HOUSTON, Texas – Drugs and alcohol have long been a symbol of all that is wrong with the oil patch. Lost time incidents are at an all time low in 2013, but there is still an issue with excessive use...
View ArticleOil & Gas Ping Pong tournament sets record attendance
DENVER, Colorado – PNG stocks tumbled over the last month while operators struggled to keep the computers on. Literally. Offices emptied out on September 29th, while IT staff and support headed to...
View ArticleHarvard and Yale estatistics team theorize 99.8% of all booked oil reserves...
CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts – After Royal Birch Shill took a $2.1B write-down in the second quarter of 2013, related mostly to improperly booked reserves in its tight oil assets in North America, many...
View ArticleRimshot Energy sells 100% of its West 3 assets
REGINA, Saskatchewan – A Regina-based PNG operator has put all of its land west of the 3rd meridian up for bid. The junior exploration company has deemed that the drilling challenges and geological...
View ArticlePresident Obama cancels KeystoneXL, unveils MegaCanal project
WASHINGTON DC – President Obama announced this morning a plan to cancel the KeystoneXL pipeline. Instead, he is moving forward with an unprecedented plan to transport oil across North America. With...
View ArticleBreaking News! Texas runs out of oil
HOUSTON, Texas – In a totally unexpected and unexplainable development, Texas ran out of oil today. “It was the damnedest thing,” said Texas Railroad Commission chairman Billy Joe Bob Bantling, “It was...
View ArticleTrudeau uses low oil prices to sway conservatives
OTTAWA, Ontario – In a valiant effort to sway the conservative mindset, Justin Trudeau is using the precipitous fall of oil commodity prices as a tool to combat conservative policies. As the price of...
View ArticleNew target for anti-fracking hysterics created
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia – The World Organization of Petroleum Societies (WOOPS) today announced a new pro-active campaign to counter the anti-fracking hysteria now spreading throughout the world. At a...
View ArticleEastern Canada saved by Alberta
HALIFAX, Nova Scotia – Alberta has initiated a plan to save most of the east coast from the icy remnants of the latest winter storm. In a daring move, Canada’s federal energy regulators have authorized...
View ArticleGenetically modified bamboo self-drills oil wells
TULSA, North Virginia – Polecat Drilling Co. of Stinktey, Oklahoma today announced a breakthrough oil and gas well drilling method. Company president Tork Mudlager presented the details at a beer pong...
View ArticlePemex sending undocumented oil to U.S.A.
CANCUN, Mexico – Petróleos Mexicanos (Pemex), the national oil company of Mexico, admitted today that it has been shipping large quantities of crude oil across the United States border without proper...
View ArticleHarper & Obama propose new Cuban Energy Alliance
OTTAWA, Ontario – Recent meetings and coincidental crossed paths between the leaders of North America and Cuba have not occurred by chance. It has come to the attention of undercover reporters with 2P...
View ArticleTachyon beams used to locate petroleum deposits
SAN FRANCISCO, California – Starfleet Enterprises of San Francisco is using a tachyon beam to probe the geologic history of promising areas for oil and gas exploration. Chief Engineer Monty Scott was...
View ArticleNew business venture creating jobs for unemployed oilfield workers
CALGARY, Alberta – A new business venture in Calgary has out-of-work oil and gas workers lining up for work. The business, registered as EcoChargers Inc. with Alberta registries, is a mobile electric...
View ArticleNDP to Oil Industry: “Drop Dead!”
EDMONTON, Alberta – Following her success in shutting down the oil sand extraction facilities in Ft. McMurray (see 2P News July 13, 2015), Alberta Premier Wretched Nutley announced new legislation that...
View ArticleAeroOil releases PetroNano transport technology
HOUSTON, Texas – The current state of the oil and gas industry leaves a lot to be desired. Plagued by not only demand and supply concerns, the industry faces the largest uphill environmental and...
View ArticleRailroad Tank Cars to be Fitted with Training Wheels
SMALL TOWN, Montana – Burpington Southern Manta Re Railroad (BSMRR) announced today that it is taking a major step to improve the safety of tank cars transporting crude oil on its rail system. A...
View ArticlePhanerotoptric Congeneration Used to Identify Fentel Trends
JACKSON HOLE, Wyoming – Professor Harvey Farquar of the Department of Debusive Geology at the University of Newfoundland presented a paper at the annual convention of the World Organization of...
View ArticleMexico Opens Oil Industry to Foreign Investment; Nobody Interested
HOUSTON, Texas – Mexico’s congress passed the final measures needed to allow direct foreign investment in the nation’s oil and gas industry and Presidente Enrique Peña Nieto signed the legislation into...
View ArticleMarvel to Publish OilMan Comic Book
NEW YORK CITY, New York – Marvel™ Entertainment, LLC announced that its comic book subsidiary, Marvel™ Worldwide, Inc. has purchased the rights to the character “OilMan” created by petroleum industry...
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